66. An Asparagus Joke (in keeping with the whole garden theme, though asparagus has nothing to do with salsa, though who's to say it couldn't be added? (I've never added it, and the idea of doing so disgusts me (which is not to say that you couldn't do it (I just wouldn't think much of you if you did (just saying))))).

Q. A new asparagus club was just formed. What was it called?

A.  (1) The Friendly Ferns
   
     (2) The Fearsome Spears

     (3) The Stinky-Ps

     (4) The Minnesotans (because only in Minnesota would there be an asparagus club)*


Correct Answer: 3.

Why? Well, 4 was a good guess, but 3 captures the essence of what asparagus is all about. Still not convinced? Do this. Eat 6 spears of asparagus. Then drink 20 ounces of water. Chat with a friend while you wait approximately 20 minutes.

The answer will become self-evident.

'Nuff said.

*Editor's Note: Well that's not entirely true. To clarify: Only in Minnesota would there be amateur clubs celebrating the asparagus, but Minnesota has lots of hobby-like clubs that celebrate everything from asparagus to hummingbird feeders to the heartbreak of Creeping Charlie to new developments in tuna casseroles. (Minnesotans have a lot of free time on their hands. It's part of the deal with living in the dark and frozen north for nine out of twelve months.) 

But what is in fact true is that another state, distinguished for its rotund and corrupt governor (Chris Christie) and for its rather advanced research on asparagus (which is only coincidentally connected, current events-wise, with the aforementioned individual's rotundity--who'd probably be in much better health if placed on a strict direct of asparagus), done at Rutgers,** probably has lots of asparagus clubs, but, admittedly, those would be somewhat limited to the academically advanced, high-brow, and financially well-off crowds--the likes of which would never deign to rub elbows with home gardeners or with amateurs, or with anyone from Minnesota, for that matter. (They would also never consider urinating after an asparagus-filled dinner party at the risk of offending their hosts. No, they'd hold it until returning home later in the evening, at the risk of serious kidney damage or a burst bladder. That's just how sophisticated these people are.) 

So Minnesotans, do you want to join forces with the folks from New Jersey?  FUHGETTABOUTIT!

Tuna Casserole: If you've never tried it, you've never been to Minnesota. (Consider yourself lucky.)

Asparagus . . . Who'd've thought it'd be in the center of so much controversy?

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**Which raises all kinds of questions about Rutgers' mascot or theme song or images used in its recruitment literature.